Throughout my pregnancy and Hazel’s infancy, I’ve wondered if my husband is going to agree to have another child. You see, I like sleep. And without sleep, I get a little… testy. What with the minor discomforts of pregnancy and the subsequent minor discomforts of parenting an infant, I’ve been a little… ahem… irritable at times. And it has made me wonder how people end up with more than one kid. Surely my husband is going to remember the raging maniac I have been for the past year and refuse to go through it again, right?
Well.
The last few nights, Hazel has had a difficult time going to sleep. As I settled onto the bed to nurse her, she wiggled and cried and fussed and writhed. And I wondered what happened to make my little angel child suddenly hate bedtime.
After two nights of this, I really put some thought into what has changed and what worked previously. And it dawned on me: for a few nights previous to this, she had an easy time going to sleep. I sat down, nursed her, she fell asleep, I put her into her crib.
For a few nights in a row.
Which, apparently, became my impression of how my child “normally” goes to bed.
COMPLETELY NEGATING THE PREVIOUS 5 MONTHS OF DIFFICULT BEDTIMES.
Five months of pacing around a darkened room, bouncing on a yoga ball, laying down with her when she seems to have settled, only to have her wake up and start crying again… I mean, the yoga ball is still in our room and I trip over three times a day, so you think I might have remembered that I bounced her to sleep on it LAST FRIDAY NIGHT. Not, you know, a distant month or two ago.
This has happened at least once before, when she was three or four months old, and again, having a difficult time sleeping. I was remembering with nostalgia the period of time when she would nurse to sleep, then sleep for about three hours on her own. Which I remembered as being, you know, most of her early infancy. But when I really thought about it, I realized that was from the time she was five days old and my milk came in until she was fifteen days old and the reflux kicked in.
Again: my mind turned “ten days” of good sleep into “most of the first three months.”
This, then, is the secret of multiple children: severe sleep deprivation, lots of hormones, and cute baby photos ENTIRELY OVERRIDE REALITY.
Mystery solved.
Luckily, I have this written record to prevent me from getting pregnant again. At least for now.