…I was walking the dog yesterday, when suddenly you moved in such a way as to entirely squash my bladder. It was instant: one moment, I was enjoying the cool sunset breeze and the next, I was completely overcome by an overriding, all-encompassing need to pee.
I was twenty minutes from home.
Luckily, nobody drove by while I was squatting in the roadside ditch, so there’s nothing to forgive. But even if someone had happened upon me in that moment of shameful public urination, I would have forgiven you anyway.
Because just in case you didn’t know this already?
I really, really love you.
Even while peeing in front of someone’s house.
My Dog Doesn't Know His Own Name 
That was so cute..
I swear they think your bladder is a trampoline. The fun is just beginning.