The Secret Society

4 01 2013

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Oh, sure, it LOOKS cute.  But let me tell you something: I’ve finally figured out what’s really going on in this picture.  I’ve inadvertently captured on camera a meeting of the Babies and Animals Against Adequate Adult Sleep (BAAAAS).  Oh, yes.  It exists.  My daughter is the president.

And here she is giving orders to her right-hand man.  Here’s an approximation of what she’s saying:

“Okay, Mom goes to bed at 10, after doing all that fun stuff she likes to do.  You know, dishes and laundry and stuff.

I’ll take the first shift, from 10 until midnight.  I just have to decide if I want to do periodic shrieks as though I’m experiencing sudden, inexplicable yet very real pain.  Or if I want to just keep up constant but low-level whining.

At midnight, you take over.  Don’t go straight for the eye-ball scratching, though.  Maybe just cry for some food to start out with.  You don’t want to make her mad right away, or she’ll just throw you outside.  And that’ll be a disaster, because the dog won’t be able to jump on the bed and vomit until 2, 2:30.

And try not to be too loud, I’m going to try to get a little sleep before I wake her up at 4 for a snack.

That’ll teach her for trying to put me in a crib every night.

And if you start to feel sorry for her, I have two words: YOU’RE NEUTERED.

Best of luck, kitty.  See you at the shift change.”

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