My Daughter’s First Crush

19 09 2011

My daughter is in love with my nipples.

And it is with a passion that only comes with young, new love.

She flirts with them.  She gives them coy little smiles that she has yet to bestow on her daddy and I.  She latches on, then drops off, and then grins like she’s told them a joke before she bobs her head back to latch again.

She can recognize them by their scent.  In the dark of night, I hear her snuffling, rooting, searching for them.  A satisfied sigh escapes her when – at last! – she finds one.

She dreams of them.  Her mouth working, her tongue tasting the phantom milk, she smiles again, that elusive smile that is only ever directed at my chest.  She sucks a fist for a moment, then frowns; even in her sleep, she knows this is a poor stand-in for her love.

She turns to them for comfort.  When she finishes nursing and drops into sleep, she opens her eyes every few seconds to make sure her favorite is no more than inches from her face; even better, to have one gently resting against her lips, a security blanket in her sleep.  No matter the hurt, this is her cure.

Her daddy talks to her daily about her impending introduction to the bottle.  He doesn’t understand: even if he is the one holding the bottle, it isn’t at him that she will be smiling.  The bottle will just be another rival, at least until our sweet girl learns to look up while she eats.

And so, less than two weeks as a new mother, I find myself jealous of my own breasts.  And, in fact, her daddy would be lying if he said he wasn’t, as well.

Parenthood, it seems, can make you strange.




One response

20 09 2011

I’m glad that nursing is going so well for you!! She sounds like a happy and healthy baby girl. Nursing for comfort after a hurt, nursing to sleep when she doesn’t want to go down . . . Jason will soon learn to be jealous of your boobs for other reasons. 🙂 I call them my secret weapon.

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