Sweet Dreams

5 03 2011

Jason and I have had a few lazy, movie-watching days lately, as my energy level has been at zero and Jason is always ready to join me for a couch-sitting marathon.

Recently, we watched the new Adam Sandler flick, Grown Ups.  Not a bad comedy.  Until it revisits you in your dreams…

I go to the hospital nursery, accompanied by a nurse, to see my newborn baby.  Behind floor-to-ceiling windows, a half-dozen swaddled babies lay scattered on the carpet, napping quietly.  Instantly, I recognize my own baby: the twenty-pound giant with the Elvis-style pompadour.  That’s right.  The giant, ugly beast of a freak of nature.  To my credit, in my dream, while recognizing the freaky unattractiveness of my offspring, I do not feel any revulsion or disappointment, I go to him immediately and cradle him with love.  On waking, however…

REALLY???

I hold Rob Schneider fully responsible:

Imagine Rob Schneider's head pasted onto an infant's body, and you will understand the horror of my dream...

I will be carefully monitoring my movie-watching from now on; give me only movie stars whose attributes are fitting for an attractive newborn.

On the other hand, when I look at this photo of Jason, I wonder if I can really blame Rob Schneider after all…

My Baby Daddy

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