Dreams Really Do Come True

12 09 2010

In all my reading about pregnancy, I’ve been particularly excited about one particular first trimester phenomenon.  It seems, according to what I’ve read, that prior to gaining a mass amount of weight (mostly, according to the women I’ve talked to, in the ass area), pregnant women’s breasts begin growing.  It can be noticeable as early as the time of the first missed period, long before their stomachs begin to look like alien seed pods.

This might not be such a big deal for most women, but if you’ve lived your life as a less-than-A-cup, this is like winning the lottery.  Or at least like finding a $100 bill on the ground.  My only disappointment was that fall had arrived in Central Oregon, and it was no longer tank top season.

I eagerly awaited my growing boobs from the moment I saw the positive pee test.

Around six weeks, I noticed a change.

“I think my right nipple is growing.  But not my left one, just my right,” I told Jason.

“Hm.” He didn’t even feign interest, but I persisted.

“Look!” I demanded, lifting up my shirt.  “Are they different?”

He glanced up.  “Your right boob is bigger than your left.”

“The whole boob?”

“Yeah.”

Interesting.   It was hard to confirm, since our house is a big construction project and we don’t have any mirrors.

Luckily, my sister-in-law was around.

“Definitely bigger on the right,” she told me, nodding seriously as I stood topless in the living room.

“Damn.”

Well, I shouldn’t complain.  Half my dream has come true, and the other half may follow.

But, I’ve reconsidered my bad luck with the seasons.  As it turns out, I’m pretty relieved that it’s sweatshirt weather.

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8 02 2011
My Longest Post Ever, With Lots of Words In ALL CAPS « My Dog Doesn't Know His Own Name

[…] with all this on my mind, plus the reappearance of my lopsidedly-enlarging breasts (last heard of here), it was hard for me to blog about anything else.  And while I have no regrets about blogging […]

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