Just Say No

16 07 2010

Early on in our home improvement project, I offered to help Chris paint.

“I was told not to let you paint,” he responded gravely.

This is probably a good policy.

However, the project has dragged on for months longer than anticipated, and finally, my offer was accepted.  What harm could I do to some trim?  Trim that was off the walls – we’ve lost patience, not our minds.

Well, as I was slapping primer on, I realized that I hadn’t stirred the can well enough, so I stirred it some more and tried to put a second layer on the still-wet first layer.  Not good.  I tried putting it on thicker to hide my error.  Not good.  A fly landed on some wet paint and tried to shoo it away – with the paint brush.  Not good.  I called Charlie over to keep me company, and he obliged, standing next to the wet trim and shaking, filling the air with dust and hair.  Not good.  I dropped the brush, I dropped the trim, I dropped the whole project for just long enough for a thin skin to form on top of the paint in the can, I used too much paint, I used to little paint, I ate paint-splattered grapes, I wiped my nose with the back of my paint-covered hand.  None of it good.

With paint on my thigh, my elbow, in my hair, and completely covering my hands, I moved on to an interior wall.

NOT GOOD.

Oh, well, at least I’m finally helping…

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